Secret Affairs
by djpcjbs
Summary: Puck thinks there's something going on with Sam and Rachel. What happens when he does some snooping? Puckleberry with Sam/Puck and Samchel friendships


"Sup Berry?" I say, leaning against the locker next to Rachel's, smirk planted on my face.

"Oh, um, hello Noah." That's weird. She's barely looking me in the eye.

She must just be nervous. Oh man, I'm such a badass.

"So Rachel," I trail off slightly, dragging the back of my fingers down her arm. "You, me, Breadstix, Valentine's Day. Wad'ya say?" I smirked at her like the badass I am and I'm almost positive she shivered. In excitement, of course. Please, I'm Noah Puckerman, _the_ fucking Sex God.

She looked down and bit her lip.

_Fuck. I want to do that._

_Monday's gonna be so fucking awesome_ I think cockily.

"As lovely as that sounds Noah, I already have plans for Monday evening. Thank you for the invitation though. If anything happens you'll be the first one I inform," she grinned like mad, her tone like a fucking voicemail.

_Is she saying I'm her _second _choice? That shit ain't kosher._

"Berry, I'm no one's second option. I'm numero uno," I tell her, straightening my back.

"Oh, no! That's not what I meant at all," she rushed out. "I was merely saying that I already have plans with another individual and it would be rud-"

"Who?" I cut her off, suddenly furious to think she already had a date.

"What?" she looked so fucking lost that I calmed down for a moment before the anger returned.

"Who the fuck do you have plans with?"

She looked like she was about to go into a big lecture about cussing but I couldn't also see a bit of urgency in her eyes.

_What the hell is going on?_

Right before she said anything the bell rang, like it was purposefully trying to piss me off.

"Bye Noah," she told me hurriedly before hurrying to her next class

_What just happened?_

I'm a damn fucking pussy.

Every time I thought about asking out some other chick I would remember what Rachel said about her calling me if her plans changed, and fuck me, I actually believed her.

So now I'm dateless on the one day of the year that girls usually flock to me, boyfriend or not. February was usually my best lays month. But now I'm blue balling it for Crazy Rachel Berry.

I should just cut off my dick now.

"Dude," I say sitting next to Evans before Glee practice. "Wad'ya doing Monday?"

"Puck, I already told you, I've never had tennis balls in my mouth and I'm not starting now," he told me pissily. He's been a fucking pussy ever since Quinn got mono and he's starting to piss me off.

"Fuck you," I spat at him. He sighed and looked at me. Sam and me had a weird relationship. He didn't put up with my bullshit and I didn't throw him in dumpsters for being in love with those blue people. It worked.

"Yeah, I do. Why?" he asked, not really seeming to care about my answer. Asshole.

"Q has mono," I told him, wondering if he forgot that she cheated on him.

"I'm aware," he glared at me.

"So then what kind of plans could you possibly have?"

"None of your damn business. Now, why do you want to know?"

"Wanted to check out your new Xbox," I told him, half lying. Truth is I'd feel pathetic sitting at home on Valentines Day by myself. At least if I went over to Sam's I could look, like indifferent or some shit.

"I thought you were with Lauren?"

"Nah, she wanted me to buy her a bunch of shit," I shrugged. "Wasn't really worth it." I mumbled, watching Rachel enter the room. Sam noticed her also and seemed to tense up.

"Well I have to babysit my little sister and my parents don't let people over when they're not home," he told him, the words coming out fast.

_Is everyone on something or some shit? All these people are nuts._

Just then Schue decided it was a good time to start rehearsal. When it was over Sam was out of the door before I could finish my last note.

_Something is going on and I'm gonna find out what._

I parked a block away from Sam's house and hopped out. You needed to be sneaky for this shit and that's exactly what I'm going to fucking do. I peaked over the fence dividing his driveway from his neighbors and saw Rachel's yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

_I fucking knew it!_

I stormed up to the front door, ready to fuck up Evan's face, when I heard noises coming from inside. I put my ear up to the door to hear what they were saying.

"GOD DAMMIT! WHY CAN'T I DO THIS?" I heard Rachel yell. _What?_

"It's okay Rachel. Just do what I do, kay?" That was Sam. I heard a groan. _No._ "Yeah, just like that. Good job."_Fuck no. Evan's better hope he's not banging my girl._

"YESYESYES!" I heard Rachel repeat. _Sam is a dead man. Once I'm done with him he's gonna wish he never came to Lima. _I was about to storm in when I heard something that didn't make sense. "DIEDIEDIE!"

_What?_ I tested the door knob and it was open so I slowly moved the door, just enough so I could get through. I tip toed my way down the hall and turned quitly into the the living room, where I could hear their voices. What I saw I will never forget.

Rachel Berry was sitting in front of Sam's 48", holding a controller, playing Call of Duty. All the while wearing her little black skirt from when we were going out. It was like my personal wet dream. The only way it could get better is if Evan was sitting right next to her.

Even though this was fucking awesome I was still really damn confused.

"What the fuck is this?" I growled. Both of them jumped about ten feet in the air, Sam's scream higher than Rachel's.

"Dude! What the hell are you doing in my house?" Sam yelled.

"I'm watching you and Berry sneak around behind my back!" I matched his volume, glaring him down.

"What does it matter to you what we-"

"We're sorry Noah," Rachel cut him off, sending him a look saying to just give it up, and then looking back it me. "It was very rude of us to lie to you about our plans."

"Then why the hell did you do it?" Yes, I do realize my tone softened but that's only because yelling at Rachel is like yelling at a four year old. It usually ends with either tears or a temper tantrum.

"I'm gonna go get something to drink," Sam mumbled, leaving the room. I kept my gaze on Rachel the whole time. I don't like being lied to.

"Well?" I asked impatiently.

"It was suppose to be a surprise," she whispered, looking at her hands.

"What?" She glanced up at me then returned her gaze back to her hands, taking a few steps towards me.

"Sam had informed me that you had been trying to save up for the Black Ops game and seeing as your birthday is in two weeks I thought it would be a good gift," she told me, looking at me shyly.

"That doesn't explain why you're at Sam's house, on Valentines Day, all by yourself," I was trying my hardest to stay mad until I got a proper explanation but she was making it really hard.

"Well, I thought that seeing as I would be the one to give you the game, I would like to learn to play also." _Damn. She's too cute._ I hooked my arm around her waist and pulled her to my chest.

"Are you saying that you learned to play COD for me?" She shook her head weakly. "Babe, that's the hottest thing I've ever heard," I said before capturing her mouth with my own. We were really getting into it when Sam decided to enter the room.

"Seriously guys?" he groaned. "Can't you do that some other time?" Rachel pulled away and looked at me.

"Right, sorry," she apologized, while I smirked at Sam from behind her back. "Noah," she turned towards me. "Would you please help me to learn to shoot properly?" she batted her long ass eyelashes at me.

_Shit. I think I'm in love._


End file.
